10 Celebrities I’d Like to Record My Voice Mail Greeting

http://www.phoneservice.org/blog/2011/10-celebrities-id-like-to-record-my-voi...

I don’t know about you, but I hate the sound of my own voice. It takes me forever to record a voice mail greeting on my phone because I’m never satisfied with the result. So I’ve decided to enlist some help. Or at least I’ve concocted a wish list of names I’d like to recruit for some help. The following is a list of ten celebrities that I’d like to record my voice mail greeting:

1. James Earl Jones – Who wouldn’t put the voice of Darth Vader and CNN at the top of their list? It probably wouldn’t do much to cut down on wrong numbers, but it might just scare off a few bill collectors.
2. Jack Nicholson – Naturally, something like the famous line, “Heeeeere’s Johnny!” from The Shining would work nicely. Or for telemarketers I could use some other good lines, such as “You gotta ask me nicely” (from A Few Good Men). Jack is one of those rare celebs who have inspired many impersonators, soundboards and audio clips. There’s a great Nicholson quote for just about any occasion.
3. Sean Connery – Like Jones, Connery would add instant respectability and panache to any voice mail greeting, wouldn’t you agree? “Lipchitz. Myron Lipchitz. Please leave a message after the beep.” OK, maybe not any greeting.
4. Gunnery Sgt. Hartman (R. Lee Ermey) – The iconic Marine drill instructor from the film Full Metal Jacket. If you’ve seen it, then you’ve probably already thought of a half-dozen Sgt. Hartman quotes you’d like to use – and who to use them on – just at the mention of his name.
5. Rebecca Black – Sadly, yes, she really is a celebrity. In a cheesy kind of way, granted, but a celebrity nonetheless. For those times when I’d prefer not having to screen a lot of calls, this is a sure-fire repellant: “It’s Friday, Friday. Yesterday was Thursday, Payday! So I’m not at home ’til Monday, Monday …”
6. Will Ferrell – If only for some of his gems from one of the most quotable movies of all time,Anchorman – The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Again, if you’ve seen it, then you surely know a few sound bites that would come in handy for voice mail greetings.
7. Ozzy Osbourne – What better way to keep callers guessing than to greet them with the Godfather of Heavy Metal himself? Imagine the responses in your voice mailbox to the oft-times barely coherent mutterings of the one known as the ‘Prince of Darkness’?
8. Jennifer Tilly – I just want her to let my callers know that I can’t come to the phone right now. You know, that I’m tied up at the moment. That isn’t too much to ask for, is it?
9. Robert DeNiro – As Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver, he delivers one of the best lines ever, which also happens to be ideally suited for a voice mail greeting to boot: “You talkin’ to me?” And, if they ever figure out how to match voice mail greetings with caller ID, there are a few choice tough-guy quotes I’d love to have ready for those unwanted calls.
10. Don Pardo – The voice that has introduced Saturday Night Live and its Not-Ready-for-Prime Time cast since 1975, as well as game shows and news shows for decades, would just be a natural for voice mail greetings. Just imagine someone calling your home phone and being greeted with:”Live from Wisconsin, it’s Tuesday Night! Featuring the Not-Available-to-Answer-Their-Phone-Family… the Kingstons!”